Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 6 July 2012

image for Katy Perry and Katie Holmes Deny The Lesbian Rumors
A photo that allegedly shows Katy Perry (L) and Katie Holmes (R). (Photo by El NiƱo).

LOS ANGELES - Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise exactly six months to the date that Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry.

Katy was definitely devastated at the news where as Katie made the news, so she was certainly not the least bit devastated.

Macadamia Honeysuckle, a reporter with LaLaLand Limelight interviewed Katy Perry at The Haven of Hair Salon in Beverly Hills.

Perry was was getting her purple hair touched up by FuFi Fondue, the hair stylist to the stars.

She was asked about the rumors that started in Toluca Terrace that Katie Holmes and her had been spotted out by the Hollywood sign in her car and they appeared to be engaged in a bit of tonsil hockey.

Katy furiously denied it saying that she had only been out to the Hollywood sign twice; once back in September of last year with her then husband Russell Brand and the first time on Columbus Day in 2008, with her then-boyfriend Travie McCoy.

Perry did note that although she finds Katie to be extremely sexy that she is not really attracted to girls, with the one possible exception of Scarlett Johansson, but she pretty much keeps that to herself.

Meanwhile Katie Holmes was reached in her home in New York City and asked about the Katy Perry rumors. She giggled and said that although she thinks that Perry has the nicest looking hooters in Tinsel Town she does not play on the girl's team.

She then added that once her divorce from Tommy (Cruise) is final she plans on getting out there and dating as many guys as her clothes can stand.

In State News. Texas Governor Rick Perry has texted Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper and told him that once they catch the bottom-feeding low-life who set the huge Rocky Mountains fire he will gladly lend him the use of "Old Sparky" the electric chair free of charge.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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