Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 5 July 2012

image for The Sad Reason Vanna White May Quit "The Wheel of Fortune"
Uppercase Logophobia is the fear of capital letters. (Photo by Pat Sajak).

HOLLYWOOD - Vanna White has been turning the letters on the television game show Wheel of Fortune for 29 years.

But an inside, unnamed source has just revealed that the 55-year-old may have to quit, what many say is the best darn job in the entire country.

Tapioca Swizzle with Tittle Tattle Tonight spoke to the inside, unnamed source and was told that Vanna received word from her physician, Dr. Abernathy Fizzowitz, that she has been afflicted with what is known as Uppercase Logophobia, which in layman's terms means that Ms. White has started developing a fear of capital letters.

Vanna asked if there is any medication, exercise, or special diet that she can do in order to rid herself of this job-threatening ailment.

Her doctor informed her that research studies are currently being conducted at Sitting Bull Institute of Technology in Box Elder, South Dakota, but that as of yet there is no miracle drug that can be given to her or to anyone who suffers from Uppercase Logophobia.

Dr. Fizzowitz pointed out the case of Ms. Aspenelle Dottie Digglefrist who used to be one of the nation's foremost crossword puzzle creators.

Miss Digglefrist who reportedly developed the affliction, while visiting the pyramids of Egypt, had to quit her job at The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle after having worked there for 38 years.

In order to learn more about this very extremely unusual affliction which presently affects one individual in four million you can go to www.uppercaselogophobia.sad.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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