Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 3 July 2012

image for Tom Cruise claims Aliens caused his wife to divorce him!
Tom and John visit this passing Thetan spaceship regularly!

Superstar actor and super Scientologist, Tom Cruise, has claimed that Aliens crept into his wifes head and convinced her to leave him and take his daughter, Suri, away too. These outrageous claims have been made while Tom was filming his latest spectacle in Iceland a place renowned for UFOs landing filled with gay aliens (They love the hot geysers).

Scientologists are determined to get to the bottom of the separation because they also claim that their Aliens who come from a different universe are the real Aliens and they are the be all and end all of mankind's existence; "alienated" Katie Holmes begs to differ

Tom is a great believer in Scientology, especially after he starred in the H.G.Wells classic, War of the worlds. He hasn't been the same (or sane) since and even believes that he was abducted by Thetans and is really the real reincarnated Superman. His mate John Travolta, also abducted by alien Thetans is really a reincarnated telly-tubby version of Batman.

Cruise denies any press reports quoting that the real reason for the divorce was his desire to send his 6 year-old daughter on to a cruise (excuse the pun it was a massive Scientologist error!) ship full up with brain-washing Scientologist loonies!

More as we get it from passing UFO's...........

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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