MANHATTAN - Donald Trump was watching CNN when a news bulletin came on stating that Anderson Cooper, the host of Anderson Cooper 360 had just announced that he was gay.
Cooper said that he had wanted to come out of the closet six years ago but that as soon as he would peek out, he would immediately jump back in and slam the door shut.
He said that he was afraid that people would compare him to Clay Aiken, Nathan Lane, or Bruno Tonioli.
Anderson revealed that his mother has been after him to admit his gayness but he kept putting it off because he did not want to be known as the gray-haired, gay guy on TV who likes to get out in hurricanes.
Upon hearing that Cooper had finally come out of the closet President Obama remarked, "Well I guess I could say dat it's about time Andy. After all it's not like you was really foolin' anybody bro."
GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney remarked "Well Mr. Cooper is certainly going to have to answer dozens and dozens of questions from Republicans who insist that their news reporters be as straight as John Travolta, ah make that Tom Cruise, ah make that...Charlie Sheen, yeah Charlie boy is a straight shootin' straight shooter."
Gary Busey simply asked, "Who's Anderson Cooper?"
And Donald Trump got back on his proverbial high horse and said, "Okay, so now, I demand to see Anderson's birth certificate as soon as possible."
In Kinda Related News. The directors of SeaWorld San Diego have decided to separate the two gay porpoises Bruce and Chang. A spokesperson for SeaWorld, Bonham "Chum" Chumkowski said that Bruce will be shipped to the SeaWorld in San Antonio and Chang will be shipped to the SeaWorld in Kandahar, Afghanistan.