Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 1 July 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan Admits That She Is Addicted To Placebos
Lindsay Lohan's personal placebo container. (Photo courtesy of Steven Tyler).

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan's hair stylist has said that the poor, little, troubled, rich girl has been trying her darnedest to keep on the straight and narrow.

Slicky Pomade of Pomona told Margarita Mixx with The Tinsel Town Times Tribune that since her automobile accident Lindsay is obsessed with doing her best to stay off the front pages.

She confided that she has not had a drink since her black Porsche ended up wedged underneath an 18-wheeler loaded with Russian Roulette Vodka.

Lohan who was treated and released from L.A.'s Our Lady of The Silver Screen Hospital told Miss Mixx that she has learned her lesson.

She said that she came very close to being fired from the Elizabeth Taylor - Richard Burton film Liz & Dick which she is currently shooting across the street from The La Brea Tar Pits.

Pomade also revealed to Miss Mixx that LiLo, as her close friends and Nancy Pelosi call her, is now afraid to even go to her favorite Mexican restaurant The Enchanted Enchilada in Hacienda Heights.

She reportedly confided to her mom that she is afraid that the guacamole dip may have some kind of adverse reaction on her and people will think that she is drunk.

Lohan did confess to her hair stylist who then told Miss Mixx that she is totally clean and admitted that she is however addicted to placebos.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: For those who may not know, placebos are a substance that have absolutely no pharmacological effect but are given to merely satisfy a patient who supposes it to be medicine.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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