Written by Steve Shaw
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Topics: Chinese, Wife

Monday, 10 November 2003

image for Local Man to Receive Fame and Wealth, Says Fortune Cookie
Robbins: Slave to the cookie

Stephen Shaw-Local man Tom Robbins struck it big last Friday while dining at Crazy Mao's Chinese restaurant. Robbins and his wife Laura were quietly enjoying their meal when he, for no particular reason, opened one of the complimentary fortune cookies to find a message foretelling his future: "You will find much fame and fortune".

"It was like a bolt out of the blue," said Robbins to reporters yesterday. "I never actually thought somebody like me would strike it big, but hey, the cookie says what it says," he stated as he prominently displayed the strip of paper for all to see. He now carries the fortune paper in his wallet at all times and refuses to show it to people except for pictures.

When asked what he will do with his pending fortune, Robbins said "I've already made lifestyle changes. I quit my job, told all my old acquaintances to screw themselves, and just put a down payment in on a million dollar house by the country club."

Robbins is the local high school janitor. When asked how he could afford the down payment on the house as well as other things, he replied, "Well, it was the last of our savings, but what the hell? I figure with the money set to roll in any time now, a little splurging can't hurt."

When asked where the fortune will come from, Robbins refers to the all knowing cookie paper. "Look, the fortune said I'd be rich and famous. I don't know if it's coming on a greyhound or in the mail, so I'm going to sit around the house and just wait for it. I'm not about to question the cookie," he added.

Unconfirmed rumours are circulating about the county that if the fortune happens to not come, Robbins will quietly ask Crazy Mao's for a refund.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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