Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 30 June 2012

image for Tom Cruise Denies That The Reason Why Katie Holmes Filed For Divorce Was Because of Heidi Montag
Tom stated that his wife Katie does not know his cell phone password.

NEW YORK CITY - Tom Cruise says that he still cannot believe that his wife Katie has filed for a divorce.

He spoke with Ty Tickler of Hollywood Innuendo and told him that he was caught totally off guard. Cruise said that he first heard about Katie filing for divorce when he saw a video of her leaving the New York City Department of Divorces on an edition of Tittle Tattle Tonight.

Tom said that he was so shocked that he dropped the bowl of hot penguin paté soup that he was eating at The Stuffed Jellyfish Seafood Diner in Queens.

Tickler asked him about the rumor that apparently started in Idaho that the reason why Katie filed for divorce was because she accidentally looked at his cell phone and noticed that he had been sexting Heidi Montag.

Cruise said that it was the most preposterous thing that he had ever heard. He pointed out that first of all Katie does not know his cell phone password and second he is not into women who think that they have to have cosmetic surgery two or three times a month.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I phoned Larry King and asked him if he per chance knew the password to Tom Cruise's cell phone and Larry did not miss a beat as he said "Nicole," Hmmm.]

He was then asked about the photos that had appeared in the supermarket tabloid Just Saying that showed him and Montag sitting below the Santa Monica Pier and engaging in a bit of vo-di-oh-doe-ing.

Tom smiled and simply responded by saying, "Ahhh, the wonders of photoshopping."

In Non-Related News. The Waterloo, Iowa Town Council has just banned those gory Allstate "mayhem" commercials from being shown on Waterloo television stations on the grounds that they are just way to mayhemish.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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