Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 27 June 2012

image for John Travolta Says That He's Had It With All of These Gay Rumors and Says He's Moving To Mexicali, Mexico
Travolta says that he plans to buy a cork farm just outside of Mexicali, Mexico. (Photo courtesy of Charlie Sheen).

WEST HOLLYWOOD - John Travolta says that he can take a lot, but it has now gotten to the point of being too much of a lot.

He recently spoke with Coquette Eucalyptus of The West Hollywood Flaming Gazette and told her that the rumor mills have now put on a third shift and are working around the clock, 24/7.

The star of Saturday Night Fever and Urban Cowboy expressed that there is now no shortage of accusers and that he heard that an Eskimo who lives in Frozen Freckles, Alaska, is now saying that he had a relationship with him when he went up on a salmon fishing trip back in 1986.

John shook his head and disclosed that just this morning he read in the supermarket tabloid Just Saying that he had been involved with a tulip grower in Hoogeveen, Holland when he visited there in September of 1988, during The Yearly Hoogeveen Tulip Picking Festival & Clogging Contest.

Travolta stated that he has never been to Alaska, Holland, or even Arizona, where he is alleged to have been involved in a six-year relationship with an illegal alien identified as Menudo "Mitt" Martinez.

John told Miss Eucalyptus that he is tired of constantly having to deny all of the baseless allegations. He said that the other day, he was at the grocery store, and a little 7-year-old boy hollered out, "Look mommy, it's the Urban Cowgirl."

Travolta pointed out that he has contacted a reality company in Mexicali, Mexico, and plans to sell all of his homes in the U.S. and move to The Land of Guacamole Dip, gorgeous piƱatas, and handsome bullfighters.

In A Non-Related Story. Kirstie Alley says that she has turned down an offer to star in her own reality show called, Kirstie Alley Talks About Her Never-Ending Yo-Yo Dieting.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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