Written by Abel Rodriguez
Print this

Thursday, 28 June 2012

image for Rosie O'Donnell Gets Extremely Offended At The Sex-Change Insinuation
Corn Kernel, the official mascot of Ogallala's Annual Corn Cob Festival & Parade. (Photo by Lockwood Lopez, Jr., 7).

OGALLALA, Nebraska - Rosie O'Donnell was in Ogallala where she was the grand marshal of The Annual Corn Cob Festival and Parade.

She was having breakfast at a local Flat As A Pancake Pancake House with two of the town council members Flora Mimosa Sigglehaus and Lockwood Lopez.

Miss Sigglehaus, 53, asked O'Donnell if she missed having a talk show on television. O'Donnell took a bite out of her blueberry-macadamia nut pancakes and asked "Flora, does Alaska have Eskimos, is beer wet, are most NBA basketball players black, of course I miss not having a talk show woman."

"Sorry Miss O'Donnell I did not mean to get your dander up."

"My dander?" Rosie asked, "Flora Mimosa do tell me where the heck my dander is actually located because I have never heard that expression before - is it a Nebraska term or what?"

Just then Lopez chimed in and told her to back off and that Sigglehaus meant no harm.

O'Donnell told him that she did not come to Ogallala to have local yokels ask her about not having a talk show anymore.

Lopez told her to quit being so sarcastic and to stop with her arrogance which made her look like the white Naomi Campbell.

Sigglehaus then told her that she had another question for her.

"Shoot Siggy, let's hear it."

And the councilwoman asked O'Donnell if it was true that she was going to be having a sex-change operation.

"You mean sexual reassignment surgery?" O'Donnell asked.

A puzzled Sigglehaus replied that she was talking about a sex-change operation.

Rosie rolled her eyes and told her that she was extremely offended by her question.

She then asked her if the city ever checks the water system to make sure that someone hasn't dumped any stupid pills in it.

Lopez told her that he'd had enough of her bitter attitude and told her that he now sees why Oprah Winfrey fired her butt.

O'Donnell put her fork down. Stood up and said that, that was the last straw. She said that she was going back to the hotel and catch a flight back to Los Angeles.

"Good" Sigglehaus remarked "And don't ever set foot in our wonderfully modern city again ya hear me you big, old, ugly-haired, lesbionic witch."

Just then the Pancake House assistant manager walked over and asked Ms. O'Donnell to please leave his restaurant immediately.

She told him that she wanted a doggy bag.

He told her to get one when she lands back in Los Angeles.

Make Abel Rodriguez's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 3?

5 16 22 6
73 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more