Skoob Entertainment News's recently reinstated gossip columnist, Verity Warbling-Trollblog has stated in no uncertain terms that Harry Styles out of One Direction has had his fill of older women, and wants to meet a nice young lady of his own age, or in all likelihood a little bit younger.
Possibly even a 1D fan.
VWT reasserted that Harry's apparently chaotic love life can be largely attributed to an inexplicable attraction to older ladies. Ladies like TV presenter Caroline Flack, and that DJ woman from Manchester.
But according to Verity Warbling-Trollblog, Harry's had enough of older women, and just wants to find a nice girl of his own age, or possibly even a year or two younger.
"The trouble with older women," Ms Warbling-Trollblog wrote on her website, (Exclusively syndicated to SEN.) "Is that they are domineering. They try to boss these lads about, as in telling them when to go to bed, when to get up, what to eat, when to eat, and what clothes they should wear.
"A young chap like Harry doesn't need that sort of thing. He doesn't need a mother figure. He's young, he wants to have fun, have a laugh, and a carefree life. He doesn't need some old trog to tell him how to tie his shoelaces and tuck his shirt in. All he seems to be asking for is a level playing field.
"Surely that isn't too much to ask."
Speaking from his temporary office in the back of a transit van, by a loading bay on an industrial estate frequented by ladies of the night, and chugging on a bottle of Amaretto, SEN supremo Buffty Ginslinger was upbeat regarding Ms Warbling-Trollblog's latest revelation.
"This is why Verity gets the megabucks contracts," he said.
As he lapsed into a contented alcohol induced sleep.
More as we get it.