Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 25 June 2012

image for The Battle of The Boy Bands: America's and England's One Direction Bands Are Suing Each Other For Name Infringement
The courts will rule on which boy band gets to use the name "One Direction." (Photo courtesy of Lindsay Lohan).

NEW YORK CITY - The New Kids on The Block, The Backstreet Boys, 'NSYNC, and 98 Degrees never had this kind of problem.

Noella Tullahoma, editor of 16 Tons Teen Magazine, stated that she checked into the Library of Congress Artistic Name Section and read where two different bands are claiming rights to the same name.

The name in question is One Direction which is being used by a band from England and a band from the USA.

According to a spokesperson for the One Direction group on the right side of the "Pond" (Atlantic Ocean) the name was taken from the directional flow of the Thames River which meanders through London.

A spokesperson for America's One Direction group stated that the U.S. band picked their name from the directional flow of the Rappahannock River in Virginia.

Ms. Tullahoma, who is an expert in these types of matters stated that it is very rare when two different bands choose the same name.

She said that she recalls back in the 60s when England's The Who sued Canada's The Who, who ended up losing and had to change their name to The Guess Who.

Ms. Tullahoma also mentioned another case where an American band took the name The Yardbirds which had already been picked by a band in England.

After weeks of back and forth litigation it was ruled that The American Yardbirds would have to change their name.

They ended up having to pay a $7,000 fine plus court costs and changed their name to the acceptable The Byrds with a "Y."

The English version of One Direction has reportedly hired the services of Liverpool attorney Chauncey F. Dittoweiser, while the American version of One Direction has hired noted California attorney Ginger Allred, cousin of famed attorney Gloria Allred.

Mr. Dittoweiser says that he has filed charges of ipso trade name infringement and fiduciary fraudulent fraud.

Meanwhile Ms. Allred has filed counter charges of unmitigated malicious malice and salacious slanderous slander.

Both attorneys have also issued a seize and desist notation which means that in the mean time neither band will be allowed to use the name One Direction.

Needless to say both bands are furious and are afraid that their fans will abandon them for other boy bands such as The Wanted, The Stalked, and The Laughing Lads of Littlehampton.

In The It Ain't Gonna Happen Department. Political Salad Bar Magazine has just reported that Minnesota Congresswoman Michele "Hair Spray" Bachmann has informed Mitt Romney that she would love to be his running mate on the GOP presidential ticket.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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