Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 27 June 2012

image for Roger Clemens Agrees To Appear On The Next Edition of Dancing With The Stars
Roger Clemens has said he's going to present his dance partner Peta Murgatroyd with a glove and autographed baseball.

HOLLYWOOD - Tom "The Sad Face" Bergeron, host of Dancing With The Stars, has just announced that Major League Baseball pitcher Roger Clemens will be appearing on the upcoming season of the reality dance show.

The shows producer Bernadette Penderlecki stated that Clemens revealed to her that he hopes that by appearing on Dancing With The Stars and showing off his rumba, samba, and Argentine tango moves that people will forget all about the steroid scandal.

He said that he promises that the only thing that he will take when he appears on the show will be Gatorade.

Macadamia Honeysuckle with LaLaLand Limelight asked Miss Penderlecki who the man known as "The Rocket" will be paired with.

She smiled and said that Clemens has requested to have last year's pro winner Peta Murgatroyd as his partner.

Clemens spoke with Green Bay Packers wide receiver Donald Driver who won the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy earlier this year along with Peta.

Driver let him know that Peta is a fantastic dancer plus she has the most sultry, sensuously erotic body since Edyta Sliwinska.

Bruno "The Gaytalian" Tonioli upon hearing that Roger Clemens will be a part of the show giggled and said that he likes sports figures because they are always pinching his cheeks and telling him how cute he is.

Len Goodman, the British judge known as "The Grouchy Grouch" said that he's never heard of Roger Clemens and Carrie Ann Inaba AKA "The Philippines Princess" remarked that she heard that Clemens will be given a blood test to check for steroids before he is actually signed.

SIDENOTE: Clemens told Miss Honeysuckle that out of the $200,000 DWTS salary that he will receive, he will be donating $50,000 to The Bruno Tonioli Home For Retired Gay Reality Show Judges, $50,000 to The Len Goodman Home For Old Grouchy Geezers in London, and $50,000 to The Carrie Ann Inaba Fund To Help Rid The Philippines of The Dreaded Jungle Snakes. The other $50,000 will go into the shows First Aid Fund.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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