Written by Pistol Whalon
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Topics: Socks

Monday, 22 May 2006

image for Punch-Counterpunch--New Fall reality Show Hits Airwaves
Let's Get It On!

A new reality Television show on NBC hits the airwaves with a bang this Fall! This program will "knock your socks off," states one TV critic. Eight of the most obnoxious, pompous Liberals will square off against eight unbearable, arrogant Conservatives in a winner-take-all boxing tournament. You've watched them babble in Senate hearings, listened to them rant on talk radio, and seen their smug faces in the movies and on TV many times. Now, watch them put on the gloves in a three-round bout and attempt to punch each others partisan lights out. The rules: Three neutral Judges, from the Libertarian Party will sit ringside and score the bout. There will be no eating or interviews during the fight. Three knockdown rule will be in effect.

The first show will present four, much anticipated, boxing matches between extremists from the two major political parties. The main event will pit Conservative talkie, Sean Hannity against longtime adversary, four-eyed lefty Alan Colmes. These two combatants have hurled verbal jabs at each other for years on the Fox News Channel-now watch as they try to score points with uppercuts. Colmes stated in a recent interview; "I know he's bigger, stronger, and prettier than me, however, with a face like mine, I've got nothing to lose."

On the week-one under-card you will see ex-President Jimmy "Peanuts" Carter mix it up with Henry "The Warlord" Kissinger. Also, in a female bout, destined to be a classic, acerbic Ann "The Devil" Coulter trades blows with the always irritating actress, Susan "Peace-Love" Sarandon. The final bout may prove to be the best match up on the evening, when Michael "Mighty Mouth" Moore squares off with Rush "Pain-Killer" Limbaugh.

The winners of these intriguing match-ups will earn the right to fight the winners from the second week's show. Losers will receive the home version of "Punch-Counterpunch.Here are the contenders for week two.

Laura "Boom-Boom" Ingrham vs. Jane "Hanoi Jane" Fonda.
Ted "The Blimp" Kennedy vs. John "Left-Right" McCain.
Howard "I Have a Scream" Dean vs. Carl "The Puppet Master" Rove.

And the Main Event

Helen "The Ancient" Thomas
Vs.
Barbara "The Mauler" Bush

SPECIAL NOTE: Celebrity Scrabble will follow!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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