Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 19 June 2012

image for Kirstie Alley Kisses Her Diet Bye-Bye As She Balloons Up To 230 Pounds
A close friend of Kirstie's said that she is back to eating 6 Big Macs a day. (Photo by Gordon Ramsay).

LOS ANGELES - Kirstie Alley was recently spotted at a Tall Timbers Supermarket in Encino with a grocery cart hooked on to a second grocery cart.

According to an employee of the food giant, Ms. Alley had loaded the first shopping cart with items such as three Butterball Turkeys, two briskets, ten packages of Ballpark Franks, and a male and female lobster.

Her second cart was filled with eight bags of Ruffles Potato Chips, three gallons of Haagen Daz Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream, two cases of Sam Adams Light Beer, seven packages of José Olé Frozen Chicken Taquitos, ten packages of Gummy Bears, and two bottles of Ortega's Thick and Chunky Salsa.

A close and concerned friend of the 61-year-old Alley, Desideria "Dimples" Driggendrum, said that when she was performing on Dancing With The Stars she managed to lose 100 pounds and was even asked out on lots of dates by younger men ranging in age from 16 to 46.

But after her season on Dancing With The Stars ended and two sit-com pilots that she filmed did not get picked up for prime time Kirstie went into a state of depression.

According to Miss Driggendrum a very disappointed Alley sought solace in foods with lots and lots of ingredients.

Alley made it a point to say that the reason why her comedy pilots were panned was because of her age, her weight, and her potty mouth.

The first show was titled The Cougar Grandma of Beverly Hills which co-starred Andy Dick and Boo Boo Stewart and the second was called I Got Your Carbs which co-starred Gordon Ramsay and Chaz Bono.

SIDENOTE: It's a good thing that Kirstie Alley is worth $30 million because she is going to be spending a fortune on upsizing all of her clothes, shoes, and underwear.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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