Written by Aphrodite
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Monday, 18 June 2012

image for Justin Bieber channels Michael Jackson with crotch grab. Comes up empty handed!
Coming up empty: You got to hand it to Justin Beiber

In a vain attempt to usurp the title of "King Of Pop" from the late, lamented MJ, Justin Bieber was seen practicing the ever popular, ever revolting crotch grab dance step popularized by the great one himself.

Justin's problem was that the puerile looking MJ managed to do this move with far more conviction from his sequined gloved fingertips than Justin managed to conjure up with his frenetic groping.

As a true "Belieber" himself, the hormonally -challenged one was seen in an impromptu rehearsal session desperately grabbing his crotch in a shameless pretense of the REAL King Of Pop.

Gyrating grotesquely to the shocked crowd watching rehearsals in Toronto, Canada, it was far from an erotic event.

The look of sheer terror on his face, no doubt viewed as a sign of personal ecstasy by swooning teenyboppers, was in fact one of abject horror when he found nothing there to grab!

Fortunately the mop-haired child phenom discovered this before he and the hot tamale Selena got past the face sucking stage and moved on to more erogenous territory.

As your reporter sees it crotch grabbing should remain the province of 5 year old boys who really, really, really have to pee.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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