Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 19 June 2012

image for President Obama and The First Family Visit The Queen Mary and The President Makes A Little Semi-Racial Remark
A view of the Pacific Ocean taken from the lower deck of the Queen Mary. (Photo Credit: Don Rickles).

LONG BEACH, California - President Obama and the first family traveled to Long Beach to take a tour of the RMS Queen Mary which sailed the North Atlantic Ocean from 1936 to 1967.

Malia and Sasha Obama first mentioned that they wanted to visit the ship after they had seen the 1957 movie The Vampire Zombies of Greenland Attack The Queen Mary.

The film starred Vincent Price as Captain Dumont S. Drooping, commander of the Queen Mary.

Marilyn Monroe co-starred as the enticingly alluring Luxellina Quakerbox, a high school physical education teacher from Brooklyn who falls in love with Captain Drooping after he takes her into the wheel room and lets her turn his wheel.

The "First Mama" Michelle Obama told Hacienda Dakota with Hollywood Vis-รก-Vis that she had also seen the film and she loved it.

She noted that she especially liked the part where Captain Drooping is at the helm of the ship and he turns hard to the starboard side to hit a dingy that was carrying three known vampire zombies who were trying to board the ship.

Mrs. Obama said she was surprised how easily and how quickly the captain was able to turn the 1,019 foot, 81,257 gross ton ship around and come back and run over the dingy a second time.

Mrs. Obama and the "First Daughters" visited the various ship restaurants, beauty salons, dress shops, and the Justin Bieber CD bin in the ship's record shop.

The president and his chief secret service agent Laramie Cobalt visited the gambling rooms, the six lane bowling alley, and the infamous adult beverage bar named The Suds of The Sea Lounge.

Miss Dakota asked the president how he liked the ship. He smiled and said that he liked it but that it reminded him of Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet.

She appeared taken aback and asked him if that was a negative thing.

He grinned and replied that it was because he had kinda hoped that the two lead parts in the movie Titanic would have been played by Denzel Washington and Halle Berry.

An Amazing Health Note: A Birmingham, Alabama woman named Vendetta Lulu Figglefox, 19, who weighs 457 pounds has just lost 29 pounds in one week on The Gummy Bear Diet.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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