Written by nooklearfishin
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Topics: Mel Gibson, Numbers

Friday, 19 May 2006

image for Gibson announces "Day of the Decider"

Mel gibson is no stranger to controversy. His "Passion of the Christ" titillated the sacred sensitivities of the S and M subcult of contemporary corporate Christianity's core. And they turned out in astonishing numbers. A squeamish liberal backlash dominated the editorial pages for months without diminishing the gleam of this motherlode of martyrdom marketability.

Gibson seems poised for a double dip from the wellspring of red state fervor, with his Holiday 2006 release of "The Day of the Decider (Prince of the Apocalypse)". Retooling the themes of a spiritual man in a world of evildoers and an assertion of the inevitability of torture and humiliation for those who stray from the Agenda, he's chosen Charlie Sheen to trace the path to greatness God chose for George W. Bush, from his early days of depravity, to a special effects-laden, Apocalyptic conclusion.

The cast will include Gary Oldman (Dick Cheney), Christopher Plummer (Donald Rumsfeld), Sally Field (Laura Bush), Eddie Murphy (dual role, Condoleeza Rice, Clarence Thomas), Hugh Grant (Tony Blair). Colin Powell will be played by that guy who does the Allstate commercials.

If the Apocalypse sequences seem familiar, credit your familiarity with scriptural references and the credits of Mssrs. LeHaye and Jenkins of the "No Christian Left Behind" literary phenomena, as tecnical advisers. They may be set to ride the coattails of catastrophe once more, this time in director Gibson's frenetic fundamentalist firestorm of a film.

Flying the "Faith-Based Films" banner, "Decider" will open with an innovative campaign, or crusade, as Gibson likes to call it, with simultaneous screenings in virtually every church in Christendom. Fitting that the film will premier on the recent congressionally-declared "Day of Mass Consumption", the day after Thanksgiving, November 26th.

Liberal pundits and AmeriChristian-hating blogsters are grinding their axes in earnest with the debut over six months away. George Clooney is rushing his "Abamanator: Soul Quest", amid early Oscar buzz for Denzell Washington, as the "Great Black Hope", Barrack Abama. Rumored protests orchestrated by L.I.E.S, the net-spawned, Liberals Interrogating Executive Shit-speakers, bankrolled by Willie Nelson and Neil Young, are touted weekly in the Indy Latte-Liberal Press. It's all good...for business. And business is good for U.S.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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