Written by Heeke
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Friday, 15 June 2012

In an incident that can only come from the twisted minds of Matt Groening or South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, NYPD and NY fire departments arrived at the New York Apartment of Joy Behar to find her on the floor with a life-size mannequin of President Obama.

According to sources close to Ms. Behar, she was using the mannequin as a surrogate for the President to have an intimate encounter. Sources say that Ms. Behar was feeling a little on the saucy side after meeting the President on her show The View and had created a life-sized anatomically correct replica of the President for her sexual gratification. Sources also relay that Ms. Behar would come home every night and greet the fakePresident as a real person, cook for him and cuddle him on the couch and even go so far as to introduce him as President Obama's twin brother to her friends.

When rescue services arrived at the scene, Ms. Behar was rolling on the floor in pain and agony, screaming "Get it off, Get it off of Me!" Puzzled, rescue worker frantically tried to remove the dummy from its position on top of Ms. Behar, but found that the dummy was stuck to her through her genitals. One rescue worker stated that Ms. Behar was feeling sexy and wanted to have sex with her fake President. However instead of grabbing a tube of lubricant from her pantry, she grabbed a tube of adhesive and lubed the "President" with it and inserted it into her. When the "President" would not exit her after her sexual encounter she realized she made a mistake and called 911 in pain.

Rescue workers were able to remove the dummy off of her by cutting it from the appendage lodged in Ms. Behar. A surgical team spent the next 12 hours performing reconstructive surgery on Ms. Behar to repair and remove the appendage from her genitals. Ms. Behar is expected to make a full recovery, but has sworn off of President Obama stating that he is too much man for her. She has placed an order for a mannequin of Michelle Obama to replace her destroyed mannequin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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