Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 14 June 2012

image for Justin Bieber Tells His Mom That If She Makes Him Go To A Rehab Clinic He'll Run Away To Mexico
Justin Bieber hiding in his mother's clothes dryer.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Justin Bieber has made it crystal clear to his mom that there is no way on Earth that she is going to force him to check into a rehab clinic.

He told her that if she does he will just escape and hitch hike into Mexico where he will go hide in the jungles of the Yucatan Peninsula.

Pattie Mallette, 36, Justin's mother recently sat down with Vodka Vermicelli of iRumors at The Le Loins of Joan of Arc Restaurant in West Hollywood and discussed her concern and worry over her son whom she still calls "Justy Boo Boo."

Justin's mom noted that she and his girlfriend Selena (Gomez) first noticed an obvious change in Justin when he started taking boxing lessons from Mike Tyson, wrestling lessons from Hulk Hogan, and basketball lessons from Metta World Peace.

Selena actually told Mrs. Mallette that she was afraid that Justin would pull some kind of body muscle doing all of those different exercises.

Mrs. Mallette told Miss Vermicelli that she is worried sick about her son's worsening quick temper which has caused him to attack unsuspecting photographers, joggers, a meter maid, and even a manager at a Pompous Pizza Parlor in Pomona.

Miss Vermicelli noted that Mrs. Mallette even told her that if she could talk to "Justy Boo Boo" and get him to check himself into the Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic located in Calabasas that she would write her a check for $12,000.

Selena agrees with Justin's mother about his hot temper getting way out of hand and she has promised her future husband that if he agrees to enter the rehab clinic that when he gets out she will give him 90 French kisses.

Justin's mom said that even one of the nation's leading experts on anger management author Alvina McSquiffy tried to talk to young Bieber.

McSquiffy said that he listened to her for about 17 seconds and then he told her to get out of his face before he gives her a karate chop to her Adam's apple and tops it off with a kung fu kick to her groin region.

SIDENOTE: Mrs. Mallette says that she plans on talking to President Obama and see if maybe he can possibly convince Justin to check himself into The Henry & Betty Ford Rehab Clinic. She disclosed that Justin considers the president to be his number one idol and he has over 20 photos of him hanging on his bedroom walls.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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