Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 13 June 2012

image for Miss Pennsylvania Has Reportedly Gone Into The Witness Protection Program
The ex-Miss Pennsylvania sold her Miss USA Beauty Pageant shoes to Elton John for $925. (Photo by Rob Kardashian).

MANHATTAN - It appears by all accounts that the former Miss Pennsylvania, Sheena Junglevina Monnin, has gone into the nation's Witness Protection Program.

The WPP is usually only reserved for members of the Mafia after they turn state's evidence and proceed to sing like a canary as Brooklyn Mafia boss Salvatore Goombalini, who is the godfather of one of the most powerful crime families in the U.S. recently stated to Piers Morgan on his show Piers Morgan Tonight.

Sal Goombalini runs the 'family business' with the help of his nine brothers, his father Pirandello, and his mother, Annunciata, who still insists on sewing each one of her 10 son's handkerchiefs.

Summersetter Faxx with Bedroom Pillow Talk stated that the last time the former Miss Pennsylvania was seen in public was Monday, June 11, when she was at The Lips of The Dastardly Dragon Chinese Restaurant in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania.

The former Miss USA Beauty Pageant representative was sitting in a corner all by herself eating a plate of Goo Goo Ga Ga Grilled Goose Gizzards.

The waiter, Fu Bing King Boo stated that all during her meal he could hear Miss Monnin mumbling to herself, "Why? why? why am I so stupid? Why did I have to go and spill the beans? Why? why? why?"

King Boo said that on two occasions he actually saw Monnin slap herself with her dinner napkin.

The former Miss Pennsylvania angered the owner of The Miss USA Beauty Pageant Donald Trump when she claimed that all of the other 49 contestants had used a spray on tanning product that was not listed on the pageant's "Acceptable Products List."

An extremely upset Trump has hired the legal services of California attorney Gloria Allred and her cousin Ginger Allred and plans to sue Sheena "The Mouth" Monnin.

So as of now the former Miss Pennsylvania is nowhere to be seen. She originally had said that she was going to move down to Mexico.

But when President Nacho Winslow heard about her plans he issued a statement through The Tittle Tattle Tonight News Agency that he did not want any disgruntled, hippo-hipped, American troublemaker coming into his country and disrupting the peaceful tranquility.

Meanwhile Donald Trump is still sticking by his story that the ex-Miss Pennsylvania resembles Morticia Addams of the old 60s sit-com The Addams Family.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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