Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 13 June 2012

image for Lindsay Lohan Is Denying That She Was "Sexting" When She Slammed Her Porsche Into The Back Of The 18-Wheeler
Lindsay Lohan could find herself returning to The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women. (Photo courtesy of Paris Hilton).

VENICE BEACH - Lindsay Lohan was laying out by the pool in a very skimpy yellow bikini at her mansion Lucky LohanLand.

She had just got off the phone with her attorney Shawn "Buddy" Holley who has informed her that she may be facing charges of driving while sexting.

Lohan adamantly denied that she was sexting or even texting and that she was totally paying attention to her driving.

She then disclosed that the reason why she crashed her Porsche into the truck was because her passenger, noted hair stylist and long time confidante Slicky Pomade distracted her by showing her a photo in The Cucamonga Chit Chat Chronicle of her old girlfriend Samantha Ronson.

The photo showed Ronson smiling from ear-to-ear while walking hand in hand on the Santa Monica Pier with the stunningly sexy Messina Fritzy Gutterhammer, 19, one of Rosie O'Donnell's ex-girlfriends.

According to an unnamed, inside source at the Los Angeles County Courthouse Miss Lindsay Lohan actually had no business driving as per a directive issued by Judge Stephanie "The Gavel" Sautner.

The official directive, classified as LACC Directive #6390137 clearly stipulates that if Miss L. Lohan is caught behind the wheel of a motor vehicle she could find herself being charged with Ipso E Pluribus Blatant Disregard of a California Judges's Mandate.

The unnamed, inside source further stated that, the vehicular violation would be sufficient grounds for Judge Sautner to revoke Miss Lohan's probation and have her immediately remanded to The Zsa Zsa Gabor Prison For Women.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: After placing some phone calls I was able to find out that the unnamed, inside source is Abdul "Dusty" Bucklerbiggle, 43, of Avocado Heights, who works as a janitor in Judge Sautner's office.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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