Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 13 June 2012

image for Jessica Simpson Is Very Depressed - Says She Looks Like A Blonde Moby Dick
Jessica jokingly said that if she doesn't lose weight, she is going to become an opera singer.

HOLLYWOOD - Jessica Simpson delivered her 9 pound 13 ounce baby six weeks ago and the actress/singer is still upset at the fact that she has hardly lost any of the weight she gained during her 10-month pregnancy.

Her fiancé Eric Johnson says that she is starting to slim down but everybody who has seen Jessica realizes that Eric is simply lying out of his ears.

Dr. Ashwani Raheem Mumbidabad Jr., who delivered Maxwell House Drew Simpson-Johnson on the first of May, saw Jessica a few days ago and the first words out of his mouth were, "Hey Jess, you aren't pregnant again are you?"

After Simpson broke down and started crying like the speaker of the house John Boehner he apologized and told her that he was just pulling her hind quarter, he caught himself and said he meant leg.

Jessica reportedly told her pedicurist Yen Tu Trix that she is upset with herself because she cannot seem to lose the baby weight.

She added that when she lays down by her swimming pool she looks like a blonde Moby Dick.

Yen Tu who does not mince words looked up from Simpson's swollen feet and remarked, "Well girlfriend ju need to stop eating fa two, you no got baby in tummy no mo, ju look like Opa Wintry (Oprah Winfrey) but wiffout da billions of bucks, dat skinny boy Stickman (Stedman), and da permanent tan."

SIDENOTE. Jessica informed her fiancé that she is going to get a hold of LeAnn Rimes who weighs 63 pounds and find out what the hell her secret is.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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