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Saturday, 9 June 2012

image for The Queen Quits Britain to Move in With Will.i.am in California and Record First R&B Album
Queen Abdicates to Become Singer

British leaders are holding emergency talks as the nation woke up to an unexpected Jubilee hangover. The nation and the world is coming to terms with the fact that the Queen - who one week earlier was celebrating her six decades on the throne - has abdicated and fled Britain to start a new life in California as a R&B singer with her toy boy lover, American music producer Will.i.am.

This morning the Queen was said to be in a secret location in California where she is already working on tracks for her new album with her lover, whilst Prince Charles is due to be announced as acting monarch.

Angry shouting matches are said to have started last weekend after the new broke within the royal family, as various family members pleaded with the Queen to ditch her lover and her dreams at 85 to be an R&B singer. Matters were very difficult for the music loving grandchildren, Prince William and Prince Harry who are both fans of the Black Eye Peas and R&B music and said to be privately excited about welcoming someone as cool as Will.i.am into the family.

Prince Phillip refused to leave the hospital, saying he couldn't stay in the same palace as The Queen, and wanted to know if she ever had enjoyed intimate moments with Will.i.am. Humiliatingly he ridiculed The Queen's dreams of ever being a successful singer like Beyonce or Mariah Carey, two of The Queen's heroes; Phillip said she had a voice that could break windows.

Tired of being belittled by her husband, The Queen decided enough was enough and took the shock decision to prove Phillip wrong, abdicate and start a new life in the US.

Rumours first circulated in media circles that things were not exactly right between the couple, when her husband Prince Phillip was alleged to have wound up in hospital, with spokesperson for the palace saying at the time that the Prince had fallen ill but it is now known that this was a cover up.

The Prince is said to have had confronted the Queen last weekend after finding a handwritten song from the rap star Will.i.am stuffed in her crown, with the lines "I got a feeling that tonight's going to be a good night." The Prince was unaware that this was the lyrics to one of the Black Eye Peas hit songs, and tried to push The Queen into the Thames, with Prince William and Harry having to restrain him.

Soon after Prince Phillips was checked into hospital until he calmed down whilst the matter was being hushed up by courtiers and officials until now.

Prince Phillip is believed to have first become suspicious of something when The Queen pressurised music organisers of the Jubilee music concert to secure Will.i.am as the headline act and for her to perform a duet. Some are questioning how an extremely private monarch threw such caution to the wind and pushed to perform with someone she was having an affair with.

Phillip noticed that the Queen was becoming far more sociable, making excuses every Saturday to meet up with her girlfriends. The Queen who hadn't been a big socialiser, preferring to eat her dinner in front of the television, was soon out every Saturday night.

It is now clear that The Queen was making secret visits to the British set of the music show Voice where Will.i.am was one of the judges on. No one at the BBC studio however realised that the old lady was who sat in the audience woolf whistling every time Will.i.am talked was in fact The Queen, thinking she was one of the contestants crazy family member.

She organised through her contacts secret meetings with Will.i.am in his dressing room. The Queen initially wanted to talk to Will.i.am about helping her start a music career but soon began to draw much closer to him as they talked about much more than just music.

Friends of the Queen say that Phillip and her son Charles never understood her frustrations at not being able to pursue a music career, feeling trapped by the responsibility of being head of state and the constant state functions. Wii.i.am was the first person who really listened to her, encouraged her to sing again and she felt finally she was reliving her lost middle age years.

More damaging details are set to emerge this weekend over the explicit lyrics recorded by The Queen and dedicated to Will.i.am which have been leaked. Others argue that Will.i.am is taking advantage of the Queen, trying to just sign her up and make money out of her.

Attempts are being made by politicians, who fear rule by Prince Charles, to try and convince The Queen to return to Buckingham Palace, in a deal that will allow her to keep Will.i.iam as her lover and her record deal, as long as she doesn't divorce her husband Prince Phillip, which will cause problems for the British constitution and her role as head of the Church of England.

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