Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 9 June 2012

image for "Nigella Lawson Didn't Really Eat An Aborted Pig Foetus" - Claims Verity Warbling-Trollblog
You Never Know What You're Getting With A Kebab From Ali Bullo's Van

Claims by American celebrity chef Anthony Bourdain, that 'tasty' Brit chef Nigella Lawson claimed to have roasted and eaten an aborted pig foetus, have been roundly ridiculed by SEN's latest acquisition, Ms Verity Warbling-Trollblog.

Apparently, the claim prompted Animal Rights campaigners to write to Ms Lawson, requesting that she be 'nice' to cuddly animals before killing them, cutting them up into handy pieces, cooking and eating them.

With rocket, or something.

"It's a load of old tosh," Ms Warbling-Trollblog revealed. "Nigella didn't roast an aborted pig foetus and cook it. This Bourdain chappie is obviously away with the fairies, and has taken the idea of veal crates to a ridiculous extreme. All for the sake of sensationalism."

Nigella Lawson refused to comment on the allegations, which were made on a US website, along with similar claims involving celebrity chefs tearing the still beating hearts out of kittens and eating them raw.

"As I have already stated, it's just sensationalist nonsense," Ms Warbling-Trollblog reiterated. "I could tell you a few things about Mr Bourdain - like about the time he served truffle pie drizzled in a sauce made of human excrement at a Hollywood bash. But I promised I wouldn't."

"This story is too ridiculous for words!" exclaimed SEN supremo, Buffty Ginslinger, speaking from the A&E unit of UCH London. "Great job, Wobbly-Bullfrog! This is what the punters want! Let's have more of it! Show me the moolah Madam!"

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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