Following their appearance together on the Graham Norton Show, where Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry expressed a very public interest in the UK's most eligible bachelor boy, Prince Harry, by inviting him to 'call them,' - SEN's Verity Warbling Trollblog says that neither of the women has a cat in hell's chance of getting that coveted Royal date.
"He wouldn't touch either of them with a shitty stick," Ms Trollblog wrote on her website. "It's not so much how they are, more a case of where they've been."
It appears that Ms Warbling-Trollblog has a point, when one considers that the pair have in the past been associated with a philandering footballer and a sexaholic former drug addict, and that Katy Perry has often stated that she would like to "eat" Ms Cole because she looks "so tasty."
"The Prince has a reputation to uphold, and a position to consider," Ms Warbling-Trollblog revealed. "There's no way he's ever going to dip his bread in what can best be described as a 'dirty dish.' One can only imagine the fallout - there's simply no way that Prince Harry would stand for Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross laughing on the radio about how Brand once gave Harry's wife a 'right good seeing to.' It flies in the face of Royal protocol. Trust me on this - there's as much chance of Prince Harry dating either one of those two as there is of Prince Philip suddenly 'knocking on the other door' and eloping with Louis Spence."
SEN supremo, Buffty Ginslinger was still asleep in the Acton skip at the time of going to press.
More as we get it.