Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 9 June 2012

image for "Cheryl Cole Will Never Forgive Simon Cowell For Putting Itching Powder In Her Knickers On X-Factor" Says Verity Warbling-Trollblog
Haddaway An Shyte Man! Ah Thowt An Itchy Fanny Wuz A Japanese Motorbyke Man!

It would appear that SEN's latest acquisition, Verity Warbling-Trollblog is on something of a roll. Following shock revelations involving Fearne Cotton and HRH Prince Philip, Ms Warbling Trollblog has now made it public that Geordie caterwauler, Cheryl Cole, will never forgive Simon Cowell for putting itching powder in her knickers when they worked together as X-Factor judges.

"He used to think it was a right laugh, sadistic swine that he is," Ms Warbling Trollblog revealed. "He used to think it was hilarious watching Chezza squirm about and fidget like a ferret on live TV. I think he was hoping that at some point, she'd stand up and have a right good scratch at her nether regions. She never actually did so on camera, but it wasn't down to lack of effort by Simon. He repeated the trick many times."

This isn't the first time that Simon Cowell has been accused of playing tricks on his fellow judges, having been accused in the past of setting Louis Walsh up with the old black face soap stunt, leaving fake dog turds all around Tulisa Contostavlos's dressing room, tying a dead haddock to Kelly Rowland's radiator, and having huge bouquets of flowers delivered to Gary Barlow, supposedly sent by TV presenter Dale Winton.

"He loves a good old belly laugh, our Simon," Ms Warbling-Trollblog said earlier. "Although some people think that he went too far when he revealed that Katie Waissell's nan was a prostitute, and that Cher Lloyd was a rat faced Pikey bully at school - but that's Simon for you!"

SEN tried to contact head honcho, Buffty Ginslinger for comment but he was unavailable.

"He's very drunk right now," a spokesperson told us. "So he's sleeping it off in a skip in Acton, enfolded in the arms of the Thai ladyboy. If you listen really carefully, you'll probably hear him snoring."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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