Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 8 June 2012

image for Fearne Cotton's 'Jubilee Sick Bag' quip voted nation's favorite
Would it have been more patriotic to throw up into a plain paper bag like this one?

London - A throwaway line about remedies for dealing with Jubilee party food over-indulgence has rebounded on thousands of outraged detractors.

BBC presenter Fearne Cotton showcased an eye-catching commemorative vomit bag festooned with the Queen's Diamond Jubilee logo.

Her quip caused indignation among Jubilee mug punters, recently criticised for 'sleepwalking like zombies' into the House of Windsor's latest fantasy.

This morning the self-same receptacle was snapped by paps at Prince Philip's hospital bedside as nurses performed a tricky changeover of the Duke's matching, Diamond Jubilee-crested colostomy bag.

Both items can be purchased at Buckingham Palace where souvenir sales will pay for the royal family's next 'austerity cruise' holiday.

The bags are among hundreds of novelty memorabilia items still selling like hot cakes at the Palace Shop.

Flunkies in charge of commemorative merchandising said today that Cotton and co-presenter Paloma Faith had taken a lot of stick for their TV description of the 10" x 6" sick bag 'as the patriotic place to throw-up' during last Monday's live TV broadcast.

"The humble sick bag has its royal roots in King Henry 1st tragic RIP," Palace checkout assistant Lancelot Cupcake commented this afternoon, "introduced shortly after the King's death from, er, a surfeit of lampreys.

"Gawd knows what effect a nifty chuck-up into a personal sick bag might have had on the royal succession if Henry 1st hadn't died like that."

The deluxe edition is still available from the Queen's Gallery shop price ten squid.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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