Just two days after it was reported that the "Zombie" virus was not actually a virus, it now turns out that a myriad of non descript "celebrities" whom I have never heard of, have contracted the non-existent virus and are now mindless, flesh eating idiots, foaming at the mouth and trying to cash in on the zombie virus hysteria.
Donald Trump has also decided that he will get involved by asking for any person who claims to have contracted the Zombie virus to produce their birth certificate.
Luckily, two people I have never heard of, have no interest in, and only used their names in the headline as to prove that it isn't what you write but who you decide to write about, even if you do not mention in the text of the story, irrelevant of content, humor or meaning which determines if you get hits or not, have not got the virus.
Which is good for them.
However........the CDC has issued a warning to women over the age of 35. It now appears a new, more sinister virus has now developed, which targets women (and not just dark haired women - blonds can get this also - oh yes - I have seen it). It is called the "werewolf" virus and symptoms include hair appearing on the upper lip of the unfortunate victim.
This frighteningly hideous plague seems to affect women I know, who though I find revoltingly unattractive seem to be my only option for any sort of physical relationship.