Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 7 June 2012

image for Donald Trump Furious With Miss Pennsylvania's Charge - Plans To Sue and Demands To See Her Birth Certificate
After Donald Trump gets through with Miss Pennsylvania, she will certainly find herself "Crownless."

MANHATTAN - A very close, long time friend of billionaire Donald Trump stated that in all the years that he has known Mr. Trump, that he has never seen him angrier than he is at the moment.

According to Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo, the "Trumpster" is absolutely livid at one of this year's Miss USA Beauty Pageant contestants.

He commented that the contestant has made a very strong, negative remark about the integrity of Trump's baby; the pageant not his real 6-year-old boy Barron Goldbrix Trump.

Trump pointed out that the pageant contestant is Miss Pennsylvania and that her real name is Sheena Junglevina Monnin.

Miss Monnin allegedly told Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine that she believes that most of the 50 beauty contestants used a brand of spray-on tan that was not on the "Acceptable Products List."

Donald Trump has made it abundantly clear that all of the girls who compete in his pageants must adhere to his strict directives, rules, regulations, bylaws, and personal beliefs to the letter.

He has stressed that even the least bit of a deviant deviation will result in a contestant being immediately stripped of her title, and forced to relinquish her pageant crown, pageant sash, and the $17,000 cosmetic and hair product allowance.

Miss San Guacamole was told by a very highly respected inside source, who spoke on grounds of ipso facto habeas anonymity, that Trump has already secured the legal services of famed California attorney Gloria Allred, as well as her cousin Ginger Allred and he will be suing the former Miss Pennsylvania.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I placed a quick call to American Idol's Ryan Seacrest and he informed me that the highly respected inside source is Trump's personal hair stylist Delilah Fizz, who happens to be transgendered.]

The Hollywood Innuendo reporter emphasized that Trump is so furious with Miss Pennsylvania that he has vowed to never set foot in the "Keystone State" again unless Miss Pennsylvania apologizes while down on both knees.

He further stated that he demands to see Miss Pennsylvania's birth certificate because he feels that she may have been born in some foreign country possibly Greenland, Vietnam, Lower Zamgola, or Guatemala.

The owner, producer, and star of Celebrity Apprentice has made it clear that no one, but no one, and especially no beauty pageant prima donna diva is going to degrade him, insult him, or attack him and make him look like an extremely rich-as-hell version of Bill "The Pill" O'Reilly.

Trump appeared on The View and told Barbara Walters that Miss Pennsylvania is not even that pretty. He also expressed that she has hips that belong on a rhino and looks a lot like a young Morticia Addams of the old Addams Family sit-com TV show.

Meanwhile the new Miss USA, the very beautiful Olivia Culpo of Rhode Island, was asked to comment on Miss Pennsylvania's remark.

Culpo smiled, waved her pageant wave, and remarked that she wouldn't touch that issue with a 9-foot rod and reel.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm sure the gorgeously stunning Olivia meant to say a 10-foot pole.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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