Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 5 June 2012

image for Beyonce Agrees To Appear In A Sexy Swimsuit Calendar To Benefit The Retired Pole Dancers of America
Beyonce will also be putting her sandals up on eBay to raise money to benefit The Retired Pole Dancers of America.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Beyonce has lost all of her baby weight and then some. Even Kim Kardashian's boyfriend Kanye West mentioned that the new mama looks as fine as kiwi wine.

Beyonce, was recently informed by YoDelle Denzel St. Bling, with Afro Sheen Magazine, that her hit song "Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)" has just been named the most popular all-time song in Australia, Bolivia, Dutch West Wakaboonka, and Cincinnati.

St. Bling asked the statuesque singer about the rumor which apparently started in El Segundo regarding an erotic swimsuit calendar.

Beyonce blushed and said that the rumor is a non-rumor because it is the absolute Johnny-come-lately truth.

She said that she was first approached about doing the calendar by long time family friend Farruca Maloofski, 53, who has been retired from the pole dancing business for ten years.

Miss Maloofski told Beyonce that although the money is good while one is actually pole dancing once the pole dancer hangs up her bikini top, her g-string, and her stiletto high heels there are no benefits, dental plans, hospitalization plans, or even commemorative plaques.

Maloofski convinced Beyonce to put out a swimsuit calendar to benefit the Retired Pole Dancers of America who presently number 981.

After Beyonce talked it over with her husband Jay-Z and her bodyguard Rover "Da Dawg" Coffeewood, she decided to go ahead and do the swimsuit layout.

Her only request was that the photo shoot be conducted by one of the world's greatest photographers of beautiful women Picasso Mandolin.

Mandolin was reportedly in Dubai, India, doing a feminine hygiene photo shoot with Indian actresses Aishwarya Rai, Rani Mukherjee, and Preity Zinta, but he said he would speed up the shoot and return to American ASAP.

SIDENOTE: An assistant to Mr. Mandolin informed Afro Sheen Magazine that the photos will all be shot down in Ensenada, Mexico, where Beyonce and her husband will spend an all-expenses paid five days and five nights at Eva Longoria's La Happy Hacienda Hotel.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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