Written by Ernest Hendrix
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Sunday, 3 June 2012

image for Eric Clapton Eats Wee Jimmy Krankie
Wee Jimmy Krankie or Hotdog?

Tributes were pouring in last night following unexpected events in the world of Wee Jimmy Krankie.

According to reports, it is understood that eight-year-old Wee Jimmy was mistaken for a sausage roll and then eaten by guitar legend Eric Clapton at a Countdown - The Musical after-show party in London last night.

Wee Jimmy is believed to have sneaked into the exclusive venue after pelting a bouncer with his peashooter and then fallen asleep on the buffet table.

'He was the people's wrinkly schoolboy. I will miss him.' A stunned Thom Yorke said last night after being told the shocking news.

Wee Jimmy's dad, and suspected sexual deviant, Erasmus Krankie was too emotional to pass comment last night, but he had a big smile on his face this morning when I saw him emerging from a 1998 Ford Escort parked up at a public convenience in Motherwell.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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