Much loved comedian and all-round entertainer Everard Cox has been banned from a gay cruise ship after an incident in which he embarrassed himself.
Although unwilling to speak about exactly what happened, Cox, 37, was more than happy to make hilarious innuendoes about his shameful ejection.
"I never go on a ship unless there's a chance I'll get tossed off," he quipped.
"I don't know why they did it," he continued. "Maybe the seamen didn't agree with me."
With an apparently endless list of one-liners about the incident, Cox appeared unwilling or incapable of explaining his actions.
The captain of the ship was more forthcoming. "Mr Cox would not shut up. He kept making crass one-liners and annoying everyone on board. We had no choice but to remove him at the earliest available opportunity."
When told that this was the reason for his ban, Cox didn't seem to understand the explanation. "Me, annoying? Surely you mean hilarious and entertaining. I'm as infectious as a dose of herpes. Incidentally I almost caught that while on the ship. That was before I got tossed off. Ooh, the cheek of it! You should have seen the cheek I saw on that boat! I can't believe they manage to eject me, Cox. You don't toss Cox off a boat. I shall complain in writing. Not orally. Did I mention I like men?"