Queen Elizabeth the Second (First place was won centuries ago) is to round off her Diamond Jubilee celebrations by visiting Brian May's house and performing We Will Rock You stood on his roof.
"Liz is really looking forward to this," said Prince Philip. "She's been exercising and dieting to be fit enough. I've taken to calling her Thin Lizzy. But that's more to do with the fact she's grown her hair out and died it black."
The Queen's Personal Guitar Coach, a role invented six months ago, is Eric Clapton, and he is impressed with Betty's playing.
"We've got her an Axe like top hat and a glittery electric guitar," he said. "The Queen's been rocking in the west wing of Buckingham Palace every night like an AC~DC tribute act."
Elizabeth has got all the chords perfectly practised for One Will Rock You, a song she has claimed is her all time favourite hard guitar piece.
"Liz has always liked a good guitar riff," said Phil. "She was bloody mad on Slade. We had to go to a concert in disguise to see them live."
The One Will Rock You song has been a closely guarded secret, and the location of Brian May's roof was an even bigger secret, so much so that not even Brian May knew about it.
The news has come as a bit of a shock to the Queen guitarist.
"I wish somebody had told me," he said. "I'd have had time to remove the hydroponic units I have up there. It's medicinal."