Written by nultygoestopartick
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Thursday, 31 May 2012

image for It's a Royal Family Jeremy Kyle Show
Queen on The Royal Kyle Show

Do you remember that as part of the Silver Jubilee the Royals took part in what was then the top TV program It's a Knockout it was called It's a Royal Knockout?

Well I can exclusively reveal that a similar TV program to be adopted by the Royals for the Diamond Jubilee celebrations, It's a Royal Family Jeremy Kyle Show.

It seems that The Queen phoned in to The Jeremy Kyle Show in order to get her family to start behaving themselves.

She she told Mr Kyle, it all started with my husband who keeps on insulting any guests I invite back to my house he just can't seem to adapt to modern day life, he verbally insults Africans, Chinese, Americans,Europeans, Asians,English,Welsh, Irish and Scottish, basically he insults any one he thinks is below him.

She then spoke about Prince Charles
My oldest son denies having an affair with a white witch by his wife who was thirty years younger than him. His wife later died while being driven through Paris in a giant radio controlled toy car being operated by his father. I would like a lie detector test done

My youngest grandson of this marriage turned to drink and drugs after being told that he might not be his fathers son so a DNA test is required to put his mind at ease.

My daughter Anne has a strange desire to be Scottish which could be something to do with my great grandmothers relationship with a gillie in the late eighteen hundreds but she has not been much trouble since being cured of Tourettes in the late seventies.

My second son Andrew had a fixation with porn star actresses and any time I have a party at home he dresses up as the captain of the Titanic. He has also developed a desire to become a modern day Biggles, flying defensive sorties into golf courses all over the world.

My youngest son wanted to become an actor but my husband wouldn't let him become an actor and put him into the army instead this was a big disappointment to him as he was ready to play the lead roll in a film called Edward and MR Simpson.

It's little wonder that he was thrown out of the army as he always preferred Barbie to Action man.

Tune in to ITV 8.00PM Friday night

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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