Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 29 May 2012

image for A Photographer Claims Justin Bieber Attacked Him - Bieber Denies It, The Photographer Has Gone Into Hiding
A photo of Justin Bieber purchasing two movie tickets to "Chernobyl Diaries."

CALABASAS, California - Justin Bieber and his girlfriend Selena Gomez were spotted at The Woody Woodpecker Shopping Mall in Calabasas.

According to Tahiti Zeppelin with Hollywood Hors D'oeuvres, the couple had just come out of The Santa Ana Winds Theater.

Bieber and Gomez had attended a showing of the new film Chernobyl Diaries starring Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Dimitri Diatchenko, and Pee Wee Herman.

As the happy couple was walking out towards the parking lot they were allegedly approached by a photographer for the supermarket tabloid Say What.

The lensman, who has been identified as Emerson Doodledorf of Petaluma, took one photo of Bieber and Gomez and then Bieber told him not to take anymore.

Doodledorf reportedly took two more photos at which time Justin Bieber gave him a chest bump like sports players do.

Gomez yelled out "Justin be careful because the paparazzi man might have a gun or a machete."

Justin then gently pushed the Say What photographer, who lost his balance and fell to the ground hurting his tongue.

Several witnesses reported hearing Justin yell to Selena, "Quick sweety, lets run to the car before he gets up and I have to really rough him up."

"Gotcha babe." Selena was heard to say as the two sprinted towards Selena's 2013 Lamborghini.

The photographer reportedly called 911, but by the time the police arrived he had left.

An eye witness stated that after thinking about it for a while, Doodledorf realized that he did not want it to get out that he had gotten beat up by Justin Bieber.

He told one of the eye witnesses that it was really one step up from getting beat up by the American Idol runner up, Jessica Sanchez who is about 5 feet tall and weighs 83 pounds.

Justin reportedly told Bedroom Pillow Talk that he and Selena do not remember seeing a photographer when they came out of the movie theater.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: I called the Calabasas Police Department and asked about the incident. I was told by a Sergeant Lansing Rushcustard that it was his understanding that Mr. Emerson Doodledorf has left the country and has entered Mexico where he is believed to be in hiding in a secluded area of Baja California.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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