Written by Evil
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Topics: Lady Gaga

Monday, 28 May 2012

image for Lady Gaga is attacked in Indonesia
The type of monkies used by organ grinders in Jakarta.

Lady Gaga, an Italian, canceled her concert in Indonesia to avert a coordinated Mumbai style terrorist attack, nonetheless things didn't go as planned.

She got attacked by a diseased monkey owned by an old, Islamic beggar on the streets of Jakarta.

After her management team made a public statement saying that the gig in Jakarta was off because of major security risk, they decided to take Gaga and her boyfriend Taylor Chapman shopping through the streets of Jakarta to look for fake Rolex watches.

Gaga was at Jakarta's famous flea market in Menteng buying an ivory carved Buddha penis engraved with diamonds, at half the price of the actual value of the diamonds when the attack occurred.

While making the purchase, a monkey wearing a tiny turban on his head saw her pulling money out of her wallet. The monkey became enraged and approached her with an old, tin can to ask her for money. The monkey is owned by an old, blind Muslim organ grinder who routinely begs for money on the streets of Jakarta. Gaga placed a hundred dollar bill in the monkey's can at which time the monkey put the money in his pocket and began banging the can on the floor asking her for more money. She then put another 100 dollar bill in the can and the monkey again put the money in his pocket and started banging the can on the floor asking her for more money. Gaga became upset, turned her back on the monkey and walked away, at which time the monkey became angry and jumped on her head and started to gnaw on her left ear while scratching her face. When Gaga began screaming, her body guard grabbed the monkey from off her head at which time the monkey bit the body guards nose off in a bloody rampage. In fear, Gaga threw her wallet at the monkey trying to hit it, but the monkey ducked out of the way and then he quickly grabbed her wallet and left running. As reported by Gaga, the wallet containing approximately twenty four thousand dollars in cash and several credit cards.

Shaken and frightened, Gaga was escorted back to her hotel room by her security team.

Before leaving Indonesia, she told her fans she would return to Indonesia again to set up a culturally sensitive concert for Asian people that like to impostor the Arab culture. She gave her fans a fake smile and told them that she loved them, even though she once refused to wed a four foot Indonesian man with slanted eyes that was begging her for marriage.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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