Lady Gaga has cancelled her Indonesian gig not because of security reasons; the reason given by her press office. She is sick, love sick, and her new lover cannot be named because of security reasons!
Ever since she fell in love, she has been sick all over the place. Jean Paul Gaultier has attempted to console her by offering his Parisian penthouse sweet for their secret rendezvous, but the paparazzi got wind of it and has been "camped" outside of the suite just waiting for the strange stranger to appear.
Lady Gaga, disguised as a Clochard, entered the backdoor stinking of onions, garlic and wearing a ripped Gaultier striped shirt given to her by a real clochard ( I wonder where he got it from?). She waited for her secret lover to appear, but he stood her up; he was too busy appearing in San Quentin (?).
In desperation, she rushed out of the backdoor, climbed into a battered, ancient Renault 4 and headed for the tunnel where Lady Di breathed her last breath! Luckily an idiot riding a camel was blocking the tunnel so she thought twice and now she's recovering in the arms of her best girl friend, Paris Hilton, who gave her a line or two, how sweet (The lines that is)!
More as we get it.......