BROOKLYN - Rihanna was in Brooklyn visiting her cousin Agrafina Fannyfitz, 22, who had just had a baby girl.
The baby named Rapunzelina Fannyfitz is being regarded as one of the biggest babies to ever be born in Brooklyn.
Dr. Offenhauser F. Quidquist of Brooklyn's Salvatore Goombalini General Hospital, who delivered Rapunzelina, informed the news media that the Fannyfitz baby weighed an astounding 16 pounds 13 ounces.
The doctor noted that in his 27 years of delivering babies he had never delivered one as gigantic as little Rapunzelina. He pointed out that he almost sprained both of his wrists trying to get the 16-pound-13-ounce baby to come out.
He added that luckily one of the nurses had the wherewithal to run down to the hospital cafeteria and return with a can of Mrs. Tuckers Shortening.
Dr. Quidquist noted that after applying about half of the can to Mrs. Fannyfitz' crotch region little Rapunzelina shot right out of there like a T-shirt out of a T-shirt cannon.
One of the nurses said that she swore she heard little Rapunzelina say "Thank you" as soon as she popped out of her mom.
The doctor laughed and said that it really sounded more like "Ta goo" than "Thank you."
Rihanna was outside waiting in the waiting room when she got the news. She was so happy she started jumping up and down with joy and about 86 cents in change fell out of her camouflage bra.
Rihanna was asked by Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom Pillow Talk about the rumor that she has put her beautiful Caribbean Island, St. Songstress, up for sale.
The Barbabos beauty smiled and said that the island was in fact on the market and the asking price is $8.3 million.
When asked why she was selling it since she has stated on several occasions how much she loves it, she replied that the reason was a financial one.
Rihanna went on to voluntarily reveal that she is having to sell it due to the fact that she had made some bad investments, coupled with a clothes and shoes buying addiction, a Cheetos addiction, and the fact that she will be having expensive laser surgery to remove about four of her tattoos which have become infected.
In Other News. Former GOP presidential candidate Michelle "Hair Spray" Bachmann has stated that she has not yet decided if she will be voting for Mitt "The Mormon Man" Romney or President Barack "Smiley" Obama.