Written by dav
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Topics: Music, New York

Monday, 10 November 2003

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New York, NY--Music fame comic and genius Denis Leary has completed a collector's box set for his up coming early and tragic demise. The artist hopes that people will remember his music, as it has touched so many souls through the years.

As Worcester, MA prepares for the untimely, premature and grossly depressing arrangements for his soon-to-end existence, the feeling in upper New England is much heavier than usual. Addressing the press today, mayor Jeri o' Day said, "With the potential for a career stopping heart attack graciously anticipated by friends and relatives, things have to move very quickly so that we will not be caught off guard, in the event that he [Leary] expires abruptly."

It was learned that they were other renditions and deep alternate lyrics to Denis' prize winning anthem, titled '[Expletive Deleted],' that have yet to be unveiled alongside and also regarding this nationally acclaimed masterpiece. "This epic song, has life all on it's own, and sure as hell doesn't need me around to sing the son of a bitch," commented Leary, who will soon turn 51, Aug 2007 provided that he can elude the menacing touch of death that hovers over actors and musicians near the time for a mid-life crisis.

When asked why Leary put out such a bold project, he told field reporters, "Crap, I didn't think I had to explain this one... [expletive deleted] well, it is a true thing ya see, I am a [expletive deleted] star and what not. Well, [expletive deleted] I have [expletive deleted] songs and things to [expletive deleted] share... So, here it is; [expletive deleted] 'cause someone is going to rake it in [money], it might as well be me [expletive deleted]!"

The world will soon mourn the loss of this amazing, artistic contributor; whenever it is that he eventually dies.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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