Written by queen mudder
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Tuesday, 22 May 2012

image for Selena Gomez in shock as Charles names Kate Middleton 'Justin Bieber's birth mother'
Take it on the chin, Ms Gomez

Toronto, Canada - A chance remark by Prince Charles to Canadian riff raff on his Jubilee Tour this afternoon has backfired horribly.

On a VIP Toronto walkabout he told Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty that he hoped doe-eyed Disney Channel beauty Selena Gomez 'never finds out who's her boyfriend's real mother'.

"You mean, er, who, Your Royal Highness?"

"Why, Kate Middleton of course, you idiot."

"Oh."

The remarks were immediately tweeted by a rogue eavesdropping reporter who then contacted the nineteen year-old actress to ask her reaction to the horrid faux pas.

Unfortunately Ms Gomez was at the orthodontist's and in no position to take a call.

However the gist of the message soon went viral all over the actress' Farcebook network with some raucous photo-chopped pix of the alleged mother/son combo getting posted all over the net.

By late this afternoon the story was all the rage in half of Canada as Kate Middleton was outed the fetid unwed teenage Mom of 'cutesy' Justin Bieber, Prince of Pop.

Moves back home to give him an earldom were soon given the kybosh despite Kate's fans insisting she should come out and admit being Justin's birth Ma.

A spokesperson for Prince William said tonight 'WTF?' amid a furious Palace cover-up about the whole sordid affair.

Zac Efron is nearly 25.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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