Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Jordan, Peter Andre

Sunday, 20 May 2012

image for Peter Andre Admits: Part 3
It's a little known fact Peter invented the game of darts

Peter Andre is an uncomplicated man leading a complex life. And as Back and to the Left news has discovered over our many chats he is also a man who enjoys the simple things in life.

He produces thought provoking and innovative music that has inspired generations. Think about it; who hasn't ever watched a "Mysterious Girl" from a rooftop across the road?

As we sat across the table in the coffee shop located in the run down suburb of Nottingham, we gazed into the face of one of life's' winners. We have forged a friendship and felt emboldened enough to broach the trickiest of subjects of his life. Jordon.

"I think I started to realise the marriage to (he spits on the floor, he cannot bring himself to say her name aloud) wasn't going to work about thirty-five seconds in. I looked round and thought "fuck me I'm marrying a Christmas bauble with tits." (spits) looked good don't get me wrong. But I just felt I had married one of the girls you see in Nuts. I mean you'd bang 'em but you don't want to buy them breakfast."

After a few moments of gazing into his coffee cup he added.

"There were so many ponies. Just fucking everywhere, it was like living in a goddam cartoon"

Peter, obviously angered at himself for revealing too much, threw the coffee cup to the ground and stormed out. Back and to the Left news was stunned by this sudden outbursts of emotion from a man who was usually such a bland portrait of humanity.

He later texted us to see if we OK and scheduled another interview.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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