Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 18 May 2012

image for American Idol: Joshua Ledet Shockingly Eliminated, Jessica Sanchez and Phillip Phillips Make It To The Finals
Phillips good luck quarter which he was given this past Valentine's Day by a cousin Philomena Phillips.

HOLLYWOOD - American Idol judge Steven Tyler said about Joshua Ledet that no male or female singer in the eleven year history of American Idol has ever sung better than the man from Westlake, Louisiana.

But it appears that the singer nicknamed "Ebenezer Baptist" did not get as many votes as either Jessica Sanchez of San Diego, California or Phillip Phillips of Leesburg, Georgia.

American Idol host Ryan "Peaches" Seacrest made it a point to say that over 90 million votes were cast, but what he failed to mention was that the total number of people who actually voted was only 27,903.

The entertainment news agency iRumors reported that a little girl in Coosawhatchie, Georgia, identified as Minnie Vonda Powdermoon, 12, voted for Phillips a total of 19,398 times and another little girl, 13-year-old Lorelei Waterflicker in Bee Lick, Kentucky voted for Phillips 18,616 times.

Steven "Lips" Tyler was so shocked at Ledet being sent home that he started cussing and the Fox Network censor had to bleep him a total of nine times.

Jennifer "La Tush" Lopez began crying so much that her tears fell all over her notes and one of her fake eyelashes landed in her gigantic red cup of Coca Cola.

And Randy "The Dawg" Jackson remarked angrily "Yo, dammit all y'all, Joshua is the best singer of the three. No offense to skinny little Jessica or Phillip "Grimace Face" Phillips, but yo, yo, yo. Come on dudes, Joshua is so darn good he can even sing better than Steven and Jennifer put together right Stevie?"

"Ah no Randy." The lead singer with Aerosmith remarked somewhat perturbed. "He may sing better than J.Lo but he doesn't sing better than me."

"Oh yes he does old man and you know it" came the reply from J.Lo.

The guest singers were Adam Lambert and Lisa Marie Presley. Vodka Vermicelli with iRumors said that Lambert did real good but stressed that the performance of Elvis Presley's daughter was so ho hum that she could have actually phoned it in.

Miss Vermicelli stated that Lisa Marie looked much older than her 44 years and for some reason she chose to wear her hair like country music songstress Loretta Lynn wore it back in the 60s.

It was really hard to tell if Presley, who has been married four times, was lip syncing due to the fact that the tons of flowing hair covered up her mouth.

Seacrest told Miss V after the show that even Woody The Wonder Woodchuck, who had picked the singer that would be going home seven out of ten times, was thrown for a loop as he had picked Phillips to go home.

Woody's record is now 7-4.

American Idol mentor Jimmy Iovine who had also picked (Joshua)Ledet to take it all says that he may call for a vote recount.

Ryan informed him that the American Idol rules and regulations manual strictly prohibits a vote recount on account that it is time consuming, expensive, and it could alter the decision if a voting discrepancy is found.

So Jessica Sanchez will be going against Phillip Phillips in the shows finale. Woody the Wonder Woodchuck has already picked little Jessica to win this year's American Idol.

SIDENOTE: According to an inside source who wishes to remain anonymous Jessica and Phillip will be singing songs in the finale that were written by Ke$ha.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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