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Wednesday, 16 May 2012

image for Rebekah Brooks to be charged with 'perverting the course of Eastenders'
Brooks, nee Wade, kneed Kemp = End of him in 'Enders

More bad news emerged last night for former News of The World and Sun editor Rebekah Brooks when it was leaked that the BBC are to take out a civil prosecution for the attack on her ex-hubby Ross Kemp, who played the actor Grant Mitchell in the flagship BBC1 soap Eastenders.

Brooks and her new husband Charlie Farly, have already been charged by the Crown Prosecution Service this week for perverting the course of justice in connection with the long-running News International phone hacking case. She also gave evidence at the Leveson Inquiry last week.

A beeb insider told us last night "Ever since the ginger hinger beat up Kempy in 2005, the character of Grant Mitchell has been a laughing stock. No one can take him seriously as an East End hard man anymore, not since he got beat up by a girl. We've struggled to introduce a new character with the same kudos as Grant".

The soap is known for regularly bringing back old characters (even if they've already been killed 20 years earlier down by the canal) and Grant is occasionally mentioned by brother Phil, but has not in the show since 2006.

Enders fanatic Beryl Cole told Gaga Radio last night "About time 'aunty' sorted this out. We all know that Brooks was born in Warrington, and is obviously a secret Coronation St fan, and she only married Grant, I mean Ross, with the sole intention of weakening the image of his character by doing him in, meaning people would eventually prefer the street to the square. I bet ITV paid her fortunes"

Since leaving Eastenders, Kemp has mainly been working for Sky Tv, visiting Afghanistan, South London, and making adverts for Sky Plus, where he laughs at his nan for taping the snooker and watching it back.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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