Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 16 May 2012

image for Dancing With The Stars' "Giggle Girl" Maria Menounos Is Eliminated
Maria cried so much that even her waterproof lipstick was no match for her hundreds of tears.

HOLLYWOOD - Well there will be a whole lot less giggling on the set of Dancing With The Stars as Maria "Giggle Girl" Menounos has been the latest celebrity to be sent home.

The 33-year-old is the co-host with Mario Lopez of the television news program Extra.

Her and her dancing partner Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough fell one show short of making it to the 2012 Dancing With The Stars Finals.

Green Bay Packer's receive Donald Driver and his statuesque blonde partner Peta Murgatroyd will be a part of the finals.

Also in the finals will be the ravishingly beautiful Welsh opera singer Katherine "The Songbird" Jenkins and her partner Mark "The Lark" Ballas, and Mexico's telenovela (soap opera) superstar William Levy and his dance partner Cheryl "The Sultry Siren" Burke.

Jenkins was hurt during the second dance of their semi-finals dance routine when Ballas tried to spin her around and loop her between his legs.

Some tassels from Katherine's expensive green costume somehow got caught in Mark's zipper and before he could unzip it to remove the tassel the beauty from Wales had twisted and contorted her back in a way that only the Great Houdini has ever done.

After the show when DWTS host Tom Bergeron asked Katherine if she was in pain, she simply smiled and asked, "Tommy, is Bruno Tonioli gay? Is Carrie Ann Inaba from the Philippines? Is Len Goodman the grouchiest grouch to ever come out of Great Britain? Of course it hurts mate, now please don't ask me anymore silly questions because I am in so much friggin pain at the moment that I actually feel like I'm getting ready to deliver bloomin' octuplets."

Co-host Brooke "Skinny Legs" Burke-Charvet tried to cheer Katherine up by telling her that she was still the prettiest contestant on the dance floor by far.

Jenkins grinned and simply replied, "Yes, thank you Brooke, but I know that already so be a good little lass and run off and go and find me a cup of hot tea and a blueberry crumpet please."

Meanwhile Maria was backstage asking her partner Derek Hough why America likes Donald (Driver) and William (Levy) more than they love her.

Derek, who last year dumped English girlfriend Cheryl Cole because of her hard-to-understand Geordie accent, shrugged his shoulders and simply said that maybe they just happen to like football and soap operas more than they like newswomen who giggle incessantly like little junior high school teeny-boppers.

Maria started giggling. Derek hollered for her to quit and her giggles became sobs. He told her to dry her eyes because they were going to have to go and appear on Jimmy "The Pathetic Prankster" Kimmel's Show.

Menounos told Hough that she did not want to go and to just tell Jimmy that she was crying so much that all of her makeup came off and she can't reapply it because her face is all wet.

Derek shook his head and remarked that he hopes that next week he is paired with a manly lesbianite because those gals never, ever cry.

SIDENOTE: William Levy reportedly said that he overheard a spokesperson for Dancing With The Stars saying that Len "The Grouchy Grouch" Goodman will probably be fired and forced to return to England after the shows finale.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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