Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 11 May 2012

image for Kate Gosselin Is Upset At Reports That Boyfriend Russell Brand Misses Ex-Wife Katy Perry
Kate says Russell showed her how to make fortune cookies complete with paper fortune.

WATERLOO, Iowa - Kate Gosselin was in Waterloo on a book signing tour promoting her latest book My Hell On Dancing With The Stars and How It Made A Better Woman, Mother, and Lover Out Of Me [Full Court Press - $19.98].

Gosselin, 37, was asked about the recent rumors which appeared in the supermarket tabloid Just Saying which stated that her boyfriend Russell Brand, 36, has suddenly started feeling depressed about having filed for divorce from his wife Katy Perry.

The attractive blonde mother of eight, dressed in a $900 Stella McCartney dress, stated to Macadamia Honeysuckle of LaLaLand Limelight that at first she was a little bit upset.

But she confessed that her relationship with Russell has been a lot closer and much more intimate than her relationship with ex-boyfriend Steven Tyler, of American Idol.

The former star of two reality shows Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Kate Plus 8 pointed out to Miss Honeysuckle, that in the months that her and Brand have been together that he has not spoken about his big-eyed, blue-haired, 27-year-old former wife once.

She acknowledged that he did mention her in passing on Easter Friday but only to say that she was not as good a singer, a cook, or a kisser as she and her close friends Heidi "Plastic Woman" Montag and Kathy "The Red Cougar" Griffin had said she is.

Kate was asked if she is at all jealous of the fact that Katy is ten years younger than her. She rolled her eyes and remarked that on her and Russell's second date that the English comedian told her that even though on paper she was ten years older than Perry in the body department they were the same age; 27.

Katy is presently dating the world's highest paid socks model Baptiste Giabiconi, a 22-year-old Frenchman whom Katy says has actually caused her to ask "Russell who?" at least seven times a day.

SIDENOTE: Kate told Miss Honeysuckle that she really hopes that her book My Hell On Dancing With The Stars and How It Made A Better Woman, Mother, and Lover Out Of Me gets made into a movie. Kate "The Great" as Steven Tyler nicknamed her took a sip from her Kentucky Screwdriver and said that she would like to see Scarlett Johansson play her.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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