Written by Jean Le Fete
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Friday, 25 May 2012

image for New Reality Show: Fingernails of The Stars This Summer on TNT
A snapshot of Sean Penn's fingernail

After it's two greatly successful Reality Shows of Celebrities Watching Paint Peel, and Painful Pus Filled Zits on Justin Beaver, TNT has broken ground on a new show sure to capture the insomniac audience: Fingernails of the Stars, featuring a contest to see who's fingernails grow the longest and fastest. Entering the competition will be none other than Lindsay Lohan, Sheryl Crow,Sarah Ferguson, Sarah Palin,Sean Penn and Michelle Obama.

Each and every program will feature side by side time lapse photography of the star's nails side by side over checker flag back drops. Dramatic music will make your heart jump as you see each nail edge towards the 1 millimeter finish line. Of course each time lapse video of their nails will only take approximate 2.77 seconds to play each week so the rest of the show will be made up of star interviews of each contestant, like this one with Lindsay Lohan.

The Spoof: Lindsay that was close, your nail nearly out grew Sean Penn's this week, but he got you at the wire. How do you feel?

Lindsay: Well I guess it's kinda like I....I mean I really don' feel like I lost anything, because I didn't really do anything...duh...where did you get that necklace?

Then it will be back to the replays of the time lapse photography, which will occur about 6 times per minute with expert commentary by our announcers, Mark Lowton and the Queen Mudder herself. With exciting exchanges like:

Lowton: My.....oh my...........wow.
QM: Oh........huh? Oh yes......wow.

Yes clearly this summer television will have it's own Olympic moment. Don't miss Fingernails of the Stars!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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