Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Saturday, 12 May 2012

image for Coast Returns - But Where Are Alice And Miranda?
Some coast.

Thousands of viewers will be switching on to the lastest series of the BBC's popular Coast on Sunday fearing the show will never be the same again.

According to all the previews for the first couple of episodes of series seven there will be no appearances by two of the most popular presenters, Alice Roberts and Miranda Krestovnikoff

As we have reported with increasing tedium in these pages, the programme is followed avidly by fans of Dr Roberts and Ms Krestovnikoff in the as yet vain hope they might find some bizarre reason to present naked.

In fact series six was marred by a war of words between rival groups of fans which observers claimed detracted from the programme's serious purpose.

However, Bernard Frot, chairman of an Alice Roberts fan club, is optimistic for the future.

"We firmly believe Dr Roberts and the BBC are preparing to give us a nice surprise and she will no doubt give us what we want - after all the show is on after the so-called watershed time of 9pm this season. What other reason could there possibly be for the broadcast time?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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