Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 7 May 2012

image for Charles Barkley Reportedly Admits He'd Like To Go Out With Patricia Krentcil, Alias "Tanorexic Woman"
The New Jersey "Tanning Woman" wearing a black jumpsuit while standing on a ladder. (Photo by Ashton Kutcher).

NEW YORK CITY - TNT sports announcer Charles Barkley, who is known as "The Round Mound of Rebound," was spotted at New York's The Plastered Platypus Lounge.

Sir Charles, as he prefers to be called, was sitting with an unidentified male friend who was later identified as Tyrone Flondell Moodymax, a Burger Bandit Restaurant manager from Mobile, Alabama.

Barkley, who has a somewhat booming voice, was overheard telling Moodymax that he saw a news story on the so called "Tanorexic Woman" of Nutley, New Jersey and he said that he would like to go out with her.

His friend replied, "Charles have you lost da last three marbles dat ju had bro?"

Barkley raised his voice even more and remarked, "Say Tyrone, I just happen to be a guy who just happens to like blonde white women with a bit of tan."

"Bit of a tan!" Moodymax hollered out. "Charlie, the woman is blacker than a bowling ball for goodness sakes."

"It don't matter one bit TY-RONE!. I still find her ta be a right handsome woman."

Moodymax reached in his coat pocket for his cell phone.

Barkley asked him what he was doing.

Tyrone remarked that he was calling up his therapist and that he was going to set up an appointment for (Charles) to see him.

Barkley started laughing. He took a sip of his Coconut Margarita and told him that he had just been pulling his leg.

Sir Charles then confessed that he would not go out with that tan addicted witch if she had a billion dollars and offered him half of it.

Tyrone took a drink from his Budweiser bottle and just shook his head.

"You means ta tell me dat ju wouldn't go out wiff da bitch for $500 million Charles!"

"Dat be right."

Tyrone shook his head some more and noted. "Well Hell boy, I'm knows fo sho now dat I'm definitely gonna be gettin ju an appointment wiff my therapist."

Just A Friendly Reminder. May 11, is International Smile A While Day except in Arizona, Cuba, and Lower Zamgola.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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