Despite nearing 54, Madonna shows no sign of tiring of her toy boy fixation. Pictures have merged of Madonna enjoying a late night dinner with Kim Jon Un, the 29 year old chubby leader of North Korea, in the capital. According to celebrity gossip site, TMZ Madonna flew into the capital on her private jet having just spent several hundred dollars on new underwear at La Perla store on Rodeo Drive and sext toys from Coco de Mer in London.
Her current boyfriend Brahmin Zaibat has reportedly cancelled his fashion show to try and woo Madonna back when she returns to New York, not realising that she had been two timing him with the North Korean dictator. Many are aksing why someone so fixated on physcial good health, has picked an overweight, shy, gothy looking spoilt brat.
It is believed that Madonna and Kim first locked eyes in Malawi, where Madonna serves as the minster of Child Welfare and Education, when not in the studio recording album releases or serving as Minister of Yoga in India. Earlier this year Kim was on his inaugural African tour, seeking to win allies for his new missile plan, based on designs from World of Warcraft game that he first played at school in Geneva. They are set to have instantly hit it off over a mutual hatred for the music of Lady Gaga.
Details of the date in Pyongyang are hazy, but its believed she spent several hours in the presidential palace hearing the recitation of the great works of the Korean revolution before watching a display of local women performing the national revolutionary anthem. After this Madonna led a yoga class in the great hall in front of the embalmed body of Kim Jong Ill for senior officials.
She then went to meet members of the national Organization of Perpetual Grief, where Madonna is said to have broken down in tears and said the passing of Kim Jong Ill was one of the saddest days of her life, after finding out that her daughter was being photographed more by the paparazzi and Guy Ritche not being a cockney like Dick Van Dyke.
Madonna and her North Korean lover then travelled to the far north of the country to a visit a concentration camp where citizens were being sent after listening to Lady Gaga to do hard labor or face the firing squad. Unsubstantiated reports have also emerged that Madonna broke out into an impromptu sing song of her greatest hits and donated one of her leather whips from her next tour to the camp guards.
That night Madonna treated Kim Jong Un to her own private Sushi chef, which he ate for several hours over her toned body.
Liberal celebrities took up the role of defending Madonna's surprise romance, with Demi Moore tweeted this morning, 'Go Girl'. Meanwhile Chuck Norris has asked for her music to be banned on US airwaves. Lady Gaga meanwhile tweeted her song, Bad Romance'.
Meanwhile since the news broke, Fox News has mocked Madonna for being worse that Jane 'Hanoi' Fonda, with angry callers calling her a 'national traitor', 'cavorting with a flabby and overweight dictator', 'someone consumed by sin' and 'desperate for next Toy Boy in order to stay forever youthful'.
Psychologists believe that Madonna, being one of the world's most powerful women, knows exactly what she is doing, and her ability to deal at the level of international politics is something that Hilary Clinton still finds tough. Some feel her sexual libido has gone into overdrive since the barren years living in London, where Guy Ritchie's English reserve made him unable to satisfy her.
Madonna's publicist could not be contacted this morning, having been detained by the CIA for questioning, whilst others believe she is in hiding part of an elaborate cover up.
Some sources believe that Madonna is covertly working for the US government and that all this is a charade on behalf of US businesses to make inroads into the closed country. Winning around Kim Jong Un to halt missile testing and open up the country to democracy is her secret mission. Others feel that Madonna is fooling all sides, using Kim Jong Un as well as the US government to look after her own self interests.
Noted for being a fearsome business women, Madonna has long eyed up the closed country as an untapped market. It is alleged that Interscope Records, Madonna's record label has confirmed they are the first international company to sign a contract in the North Korea where Madonna's music will be the only music to be played on the country's fledging radio industry as well as in tanoys in factories when the national period of mourning is over later this year.
For a country which can't feed its own population and which is plunged into blackness each night, some observers have questioned the move by North Korean military to build an installation which will be seen from space and will be lit up at night with 1 million light blubs, promoting her new album, 'Gimme All Your Luvin', powered by peasants cycling on bicycles.
Guy Ritche who was on a hunting trip on Saville Row with Vinnie Jones released a statement saying he would like the media to respect his family desire for privacy and he had long stopped caring for what his ex wife got up to.
Whatever the truth, Madonna makes a good actress, as pictures leaked onto TMZ show her enjoying passionate kisses with Kim Jong Un whilst they toured the Concentration Camp. She was sporting a T-shirt which said 'North Korean's Do It Better' a play on words to the T-shirt she wore in her Pappa Don't Preach video.
Love struck Kin Jong Un has already started building a new yoga hall, ordering whole villages to send every adult male to work on the buidling and behind the scenes he is working on plans to make Madonna a deity for the masses to worship.