Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 5 May 2012

image for Kim Kardashian States In No Uncertain Terms That Kris Humphries Is Not Getting Their $325,000 Ferrari Wedding Gift
Kim has said that she has already sold the wedding cake bride and groom figurines on eBay for $13,000.

NEW YORK CITY - Kim Kardashian and her brand new boyfriend Kanye "Mr. Microphone" West were spotted at Manhattan's Giggle Giggle Comedy Club.

According to a reporter for LaLaLand Limelight formerly The Showbiz Gazette, the couple, who was dressed all in black, resembled two-thirds of an Oreo cookie. Macadamia Honeysuckle with LL noted that all that was missing was Nicole Kidman or Marcia Cross.

Kim and Kanye had front row seats as they sat and listened to stand up comic Zydeco Dupree.

As soon as Dupree spotted the Tinsel Town couple he remarked that he was glad to see that Kim has decided to keep the letter "K" tradition as she has gone from Kris (Humphries) to Kanye (West).

Kim laughed. Kanye just sat their holding his Kamikaze Shooter and trying to drink through his tuna pout.

Dupree thanked the couple for taking time out from their busy whirlwind horizontal hip hopping to stop by. He smiled as he told Kim that if Kanye looks like he's making a move toward the stage for her to simply hit him with her award-winning caboose.

Kim giggled. Kanye made a face that made him look like a male version of Gabourey Sidibe.

After the couple left the club Kim was asked to comment on the fact that her soon-to-be-ex-husband Kris recently revealed to Whoopi Goldberg on The View that he wants the $325,000 white Ferrari that Malaysian bamboo tycoon Kuankampar Penangnang gave the couple as a wedding present.

Kim stated in an extremely serious tone that Krissy is not getting her Ferrari and that was final.

During Humphries appearance on The View, he stressed to Whoopi that the wedding gift card read: "To Kim and Kris, With Love, Liberty, and The Pursuit of Vavavooming, K. Penangnang."

Kris expressed his desire that at the very least the automobile should be sold and the money split up equally.

Whoopi, Joy (Behar), Sherri (Shepherd), and Barbara (Walters) all agreed with him. Elisabeth (Hasselbeck) meanwhile remarked that Kim was entitled to the car since she was the bride and according to The Nadine Yamfiddle Wedding Gift Guide of Etiquette, in the event that a bride and groom file for divorce within six months of being married, all of the wedding gifts become the exclusive property of the bride.

SIDENOTE: Kris Humphries has reportedly secured the services of Gloria and Ginger Allred and plans on getting not only the $325,000 white Ferrari, but also the baby rhino that was a gift from Ann Coulter, the $997 bagel-shaped emerald encrusted toothpick holder that was given to them by Barbara Walters, and the $1,000 gift certificate to The La Brea Tar Pits Diner that was presented to both of them by President and Mrs. Obama.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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